Brendan Smith Memorial Picks, Week 9

Sorry for the .75 posts a day, but screw it, it's picks time.

11 AM:  New Mexico State @ No. 17 Ohio State

The Buckeyes go dippin into the WAC, and as matchups between perennial powerhouses and teams from New Mexico are wont to do, this game will not be very close.

What I would guess New Mexico State's mascot is, without looking: It's not a lobo. My first guess is "wolf", because I assume they're uncreative ripoffs of their New Mexican brethren, but I'll go out a little further on that limb and guess the coyote. It's very deserty.

What it actually is: the Aggie. My question for NMSU is why they are all aggie.(gratutitous link to one of the best rap songs of all time.)

Pick: Ohio State

Pick in a mascot fight to the death: Buckeye: still a nut. Game, NMSU. (Buckeyes mascot death fight record: 0-9.)

11 AM: Purdue @ Wisconsin

The matchup of one team I thought was way underrated, but actually sucks, and one team I thought was way overrated, but is actually good. Turns out you people are better at rating things than me.

Pick: Wisconsin.

Pick in a mascot fight to the death: In addition to making boilers, the boilermaker is presumably also adept at not getting killed by mammals a quarter of his size. Especially if he's got all that boiler making equipment close at hand. Game, Purdue. (mascot death fight records: Purdue, 7-2, Wisconsin, 4-4)

11 AM: Indiana @ No. 4 Iowa.

Indiana's goal for the game should be to get a first down. If you believe it, you can achieve it.

Pick: Iowa

Pick in a mascot fight to the death: In theory, this is a battle between a guy from Iowa and a guy from Indiana, but in practice, it's a battle between the disembodied eye of a hawk and a guy from Indiana. The animate one wins. Game, Indiana. (Mascot death fight records: Indiana, 3-6, Iowa, 0-9)

2:30: Michigan @ Illinois

Why ABC is broadcasting this, I don't know. Illinois football is on some atrocious stuff right now. Hopefully, ABC censors out parts of this game so that any underage viewers don't learn about horrible horrible things, like murder, widespread looting, and poor quarterback play.

Pick: Michigan

Pick in a mascot fight to the death: Great matchup: Common sense probably goes with the vicious wolf-dog thing, but the Illini's got those wildlife survival skills that might allow him to outwile the wolverine. Game, Illinois. (mascot death fight records: Illinois, 5-3, Michigan, 5-4)

7: Michigan State @ Minnesota

Minnesota fans, welcome to being miserable while watching a bad football team play outdoors when it's cold and probably rainy outside. (Miserable football and miserable weather are inextricably linked, something you never learned inside the Metrodome.) And without Eric Decker, you may or may not have an offense.

Pick: Michigan State

Pick in a mascot fight to the death: I'd like to see a remake of 300 with a Spartan mercilessly killing helpless woodland creatures. Game, MSU. (mascot death fight records: MSU, 9-0, Minnesota, 2-7.)

 

I'll be back with an NU prediction one, so be there.

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