Name of the Week: Michigan State Edition

Sorry this is going up on Friday - I've had a crazy, busy week so far and it slipped my mind. (Well, it didn't slip my mind, but, actually posting it did.

This week's honorable mentions: running back Le'Veon Bell, cornerback Jairus Jones, and offensive tackle J'Michael Deane.

Now onto the names! All but one of whom was here last year, when nobody read my blog.



#60, Micajah Reynolds
: My only advice to Micajah, a redshirt freshman OG, is that should same-sex marriage become legal, he should consider getting married to teammate Jared McGaha. Because then his name would be Micajah McGaha. Which would be awesome.

Micajah played against Northern Colorado, his first ever playing time, but likely won't see the field Saturday.

#49, TyQuan Hammock: TyQuan in and of itself isn't enough to impress me, but when you combine it with something as comfortable and relaxing as a hammock, I'm in. Actually, hammocks aren't really that comfortable, to be honest. That's what makes TyQuan such a badass linebacker. You can lie on him, and it won't be as comfortable as you think it should be. WHAT NOW?

After redshirting last year, TyQuan is a backup at linebacker, but has played in all seven of the team's games, recording 12 tackles.

 

#28, Denicos Allen: What I like about Denicos is that his name sounds like it has some deep historical significance. Denicos sounds like the name of some minor Greek God, like, uh, Denicos, God of the Mediocre Linebacker Play. Or maybe some philosopher. Problem is, so far as I can tell, no other person, place, or thing has ever been named Denicos, so, it's really just as good a made-up name as TyQuan or J'Michael, but it disguises itself as a real one. In fact, it's no more of a first name than his last name, Allen. Oh, wait, Allen's, like, actually a first name.

After redshirting last year (parallelism!), Denicos is a backup linebacker (parallelism!!!), but has played in all seven of the team's games (PARALLELISM!), recording (pa-) 11 tackles (nearly parallelism. Very, very nearly.)

#31, Darqueze Dennard: This name's a doozy. The key, obviously, is the alliteration between Darqueze and Dennard. The other key is the fact that his first name is Darqueze, which, presumably is pronounced "Dar-keeze", which is awesome.

Darqueze is a true freshman cornerback, and he's making an impact: he started his first career game last week against Illinois, and ended up with one tackle-for-loss, a fumble forced, and a fumble recovered on the day. I approve, Darqueze.

And the incumbent, and my pick for best name...

#52, Denzel Drone: Apparently MSU took Denzel Washington, star of such films as Inside Man, American Gangster, and my personal favorite film of all-time (you think I'm joking, but I'm not) He Got Game, removed his soul, and set him loose as a brainless killing machine. Because this Denzel Drone they have is a defensive end. He may not have a soul or feelings, but his acting skills and lady-seduction-abilities are up and running, ready to make you think he has a soul, whereas in fact, he is a heartless, mindless, sexy robot.  Be worried, people.

Denzel is a redshirt freshman who has started four games at defensive end. The highlight of his season thus far is a 22-yard sack and forced fumble as Scott Tolzien threw against Wisconsin (pictured above), but he hasn't started any of the games since.

So, vote or die.

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