Penn State loses some serious name depth, but, well, I think we'll survive. Trust me.
First off, congrats go to Marvin McNutt for manhandling the Iowa Name of the Week poll, earning 58 of 115 votes, or slightly over half. That's his second title in as many years - way to go out on top, McNutt.
In other news, for the second time, we have a name to hang in the rafters: last year, as a sophomore, Christian Kuntz won the Name of the Year poll, ekeing out a 32-27 victory over Nubian Peak. As such, the wide receiver's time destroying the Name of the Week poll is done: we will honor him and never forget. The most pious of ladyparts, he will be missed.
Penn State's runners up are Wally Szczerbiak wannabe Andrew Szczerba, sophomore linebacker Brad Bars - this is a spectacular rap name - and junior wide out Brian Friend, who is just a flat out good guy,
No. 50, Deon'tae Pannell: I'm not really sold on this as a good name. The only thing doing it for me is the random apostrophe. There's a lot of Deonte's out there - for example, NU player Deonte Gibson - and Pannell is only a so-so last name. But he's a senior and I let him in.
Deon'tae is the team's starting right guard. I'm bored.
No. 7, Stephen Obeng-Agyapong: I don't like highlighting foreign names just because they're foreign, but, well, Obeng-Agyapong.
SOA is a junior backup at Penn State's "hero" position, which is what they call strong safeties. Unlike NU's superback, hero has been around for quite some time, but I still like imagining that it is named after Enrique Iglesias or Chad Kroeger.
No. 72, Khamrone Kolb: First off, is he Kevin's brother? Second off, I want him to release albums under the name Kham'rone.
Killa Kham is a redshirt freshman offensive guard who doesn't crack PSU's three-deep, but did see playing time against EMU.
No. 54, Matt Stankiewitch: DO THE STANKY WITCH, DO THE STANKY WITCH. It's one thing to be "stinky". That just means you smell. But stanky is a word owned by OutKast and other funky people to refer to being smelly and also cool, I guess. Look, my point is, I can think of nobody who was made fun of more in grade school than a guy whose name is "Stankiewitch", because kids don't like things that are stinky or witches and will make fun of both.
Stanky is a senior who starts at center for the Nittany Lions.
No. 27, Tariq Tongue: Yup. There's not many good ways you can go with the last name "Tongue", and Tariq is one of the best.
Tariq is a junior wide receiver who played in his first game against EMU, but didn't record any receptions.