Predictions About Rice

NEW YORK, NY - APRIL 27: Pro Football Hall of Fame member Jerry Rice attends the Bud Light "Best Round Ever" Pre-Draft Party on April 27, 2011 in New York City. Bud Light, the new official beer of the NFL, offered fans $10 million if they could correctly pick the perfect first round of the NFL Draft as part of their "Best Round Ever" promotion. (Photo by Mike Coppola/Getty Images for Bud Lite)

Northwestern plays Rice tomorrow. Like every week, I've decided to make some predictions! Here's a bunch of things I think that will happen to Rice on Saturday.

Rice will continue to be a staple of many Asian cuisines. Chicken and pork will be fried with it. In Japan, they will wrap raw fish in it. In Southeast Asia, they will grow it in paddies. To be honest, I'm not sure how rice is grown elsewhere in the world.

Rice will not be made into Rice Krispies, since it's Saturday, and the people at the plant have the day off. However, many will stick Rice Krispies together using marshmellows and make them into Rice Krispies Treats.

Some white people will clearly identify Mexican rice as being Mexican rice without being able to think through what precisely makes it Mexican. 

Some rice will be brown and some rice will be white, but only in Asian restaurants will the option be offered.

Rice-a-Roni will continue to be the San Francisco treat.

Spanish people will call continue to rice "arroz". When mixed with beans, Cuban people will call it "congri" and it will be delicious.

Hippies will eat wild rice without thinking about how it was probably grown on a farm.

Plain rice will continue to not taste good in most situations but serve as a good accompaniment to other foods.

Rice will be a common last name, shared by Jerry, Sidney, Glen, Glen Jr., Grantland, and Condoleezza.

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