What's up children!
Little-known fact: every time a Northwestern basketball player's career ends without that player scoring 1,900 points, Billy McKinney sits in a room by himself and drinks a bottle of Peach Passion Andre. He does this literally every time. Last year, he drank three bottles of Peach Passion Andre: one labeled "Michael Thompson", one labeled "Mike Capocci", and one labeled "Ivan Peljusic", even though the latter combined to score under 400 points, 1,500 away from McKinney's record. He also drank a bottle of Peach Passion Andre when Kevin Coble announced he would not return for his senior season.
Today, McKinney will go to his refrigerator and take a long stare at the bottle of Peach Passion Andre labeled "John Shurna". He will take a long stare at it, and he will cry more passionately than he has ever cried in his life. Although John Shurna may not break his record today, as his recent performances and season average indicate he will - he will likely break it soon. And that bottle of Peach Passion Andre will forever remain unconsumed.
Oh, and the game is important too.