Thursday Sips, Featuring Northwestern's Conference Basketball Schedule, and FOOTBALL

FOOTBALL HAPPENS TONIGHT GUYS

FOOTBALL. FOOTBALL FOOTBALL FOOTBALL.

FOOOOOOOOOTBAAAAAAAAAAAAALLLLLL: It starts tonight! Noteworthy for NU fans is the Vanderbilt game against No. 9 South Carolina - it would be awesome of the Commodores pulled off an upset and were primed for a letdown game next week - and Minnesota-UNLV, because I guess we should pay attention to Minnesota.

Northwestern's conference basketball schedule is out!: Here it is. What's noteworthy is that it's very back-heavy and the inverse of last season's in that NU won't travel to Wisconsin or Indiana while Nebraska and Michigan State won't visit Evanston.

Tell the guy who made all the videos: Bill Connelly ran down 100 reasons to fall back in love with college football. No. 74?

74. Kain Colter. Because he's quite possibly Northwestern's best quarterback, running back and wide receiver. And he will be used as all three.

We're not even that good at DDR: Legal expert Robert B. Wheel posted .GIF previews of the entire college footballsphere, and this is what he came up with for Northwestern.

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Pretty accurate, I think.

this is an outrage: Belmont grilled cheese eatery/bar Cheesie's is opening up a second store in Evanston, meaning Northwestern students will have a late night spot to eat delicious gourmet grilled cheese while drinking Breckenridge Vanilla Porter. YOU DID THIS AFTER I GRADUATE I HATE YOU I HATE YOU YOU SICK BASTARDS

Basically, I just wish I could read TNIAAM all year long: They have a special list of things to tell their fans about Northwestern. Rihanna is featured, so go look at it.

Insult our lady laxers at your own peril: They also pointed out that Northwestern won the national championship in women's lax over Syracuse, and weren't too pleased about that outcome.

Northwestern stalled and delayed their way to an 8-6 victory in the Women's Lax National Championshipover Syracuse in what has to have been the most boring and most unwatchable sporting event in the history of the planet. The Wildcats play was described as "nauseatingly disgusting" by some, "a brutal, ugly brand of lacrosse" by others and led one Syracuse player to assume that NU players were scared to play fair.

Listen up, JERKS. I guess we should apologize for the fact Northwestern wanted to win and decided to play the way they did instead of playing like stupid losers, but guess what: WE'RE NOT SORRY. I'll would make a pair of brass knuckles out of all Northwestern's championship rings to punch you in the face with that, but I DON'T HAVE SIX FINGERS.

Way to rip off Kain Colter: Syracuse's Ashton Broyld is also a quarterback/wide receiver/running back, and it's not really clear how he'll be used Saturday. Real original, guys. That article also talks about 'Cuse's five-headed running back monster.

A Jew, a seven-foot tall Sudanese guy, and a half-Indian guy walk into a bar: And that bar is the Keg:

Forgot to mention this a few days ago, but: Sunday Morning Quarterback is back, under the brilliant guidance of Matt Hinton. Go! Read it!

Thank you Based Ball: George Kontos got his first MLB win last night for the Giants! In other pro news, Jeremy Ebert had one catch for 18 yards in an ugly preseason game that Tom Brady didn't play in.

and your Tweet of the Day: There were a lot of great TODAY IS COLLEGE FOOTBALL tweets today. This was my favorite:

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