Name Of The Week: South Dakota Edition:

LONDON, ENGLAND - MARCH 10: Niles Garratt (Stroke) of The Cambridge team in action during the training race against Leander on the River Thames on March 10, 2012 in London, England. (Photo by Tom Dulat/Getty Images)

Time for another edition of Name of the Week, although as we all know, FCS teams with their smaller roster sizes tend to be a bit of a drag on the quality of NOTW.

First off, a shout-out to Spiffy Evans for winning his second straight BC edition and continuing to be generally snazzy. The loss is a bummer for Win Homer, who sorta banks on winning stuff.

Onto the names! I think we have a runaway winner this week, but whatevs. Honorable mentions include Kyle Shanker (would've been in there if he was a kicker, still great at stabbin), Khiry McDonald, and Kayl Barkley, neither of whom do anything for me even though they have weird names.

No. 19, Charlie Goro, DB: Charlie is sort of grandfathered in here: he actually made the cut originally two years ago for Vandy when the Maine South QB played there and I noted how wonderful it was that he was named after the four-armed monster from the Mortal Kombat games. I think he's better suited for defensive back, seeing how having four arms is more suited to catching interceptions and tearing your opponents limb from limb when tackling them than it is for throwing. (Never mind that Maine South's current QB, Matt Alviti, is an NU commit while his predecessor transferred from FBS to play defensive back for an FCS team rather than beat out Jordan Matthews.) For those of you interested in watching a video game fan video with graphically violent animations of a dude ripping people's bodies in half while listening to Slipknot, I linked to that here but wouldn't put that on my page because, I mean, come on.

Anyway, Charlie Four-Arms had a pick-six against Montana in his team's season opener, so at least DB is working out for him.

No. 27, Earv Archambeau, RB: The undisputed rock-paper-scissors champion of the Coyotes.

Earv is a junior running back who had six carries for 29 yards last season, but has yet to touch the rock this season. Or the paper or the scissors for that matter.

No. 51, Emilious Davis: Emilious sounds like a great adjective, probably for something awesome and possibly regal. Example: "Louis XIV was the most emilious of all European monarchs."

Anyway, Emmy is a juco transfer who is a backup defensive end and notched 1.5 sacks against Colgate.

No. 61, Nile Banks, OL: Yup. His parents were like, "yo, our name is like rivers. WHAT RIVERS ARE NAMES:

Money Banks

Chase Manhattan Banks

Amazon Banks

Mississippi Banks

Rio Grande Banks

Lloyd Banks

Dnieper Banks

Rhine Banks


Nile is kind of the only one that works if you want your child's life to be a miserable campaign of "hah, like the river! I get it!" forever and ever.

Nile is a freshman redshirting. His shores are fertile, and filled with reeds used for papyrus and making baskets in which to put babies that are meant to rescue your people.

Vote and stuff.

SB Nation Featured Video
Log In Sign Up

Log In Sign Up

Forgot password?

We'll email you a reset link.

If you signed up using a 3rd party account like Facebook or Twitter, please login with it instead.

Forgot password?

Try another email?

Almost done,

By becoming a registered user, you are also agreeing to our Terms and confirming that you have read our Privacy Policy.

Join Inside NU

You must be a member of Inside NU to participate.

We have our own Community Guidelines at Inside NU. You should read them.

Join Inside NU

You must be a member of Inside NU to participate.

We have our own Community Guidelines at Inside NU. You should read them.




Choose an available username to complete sign up.

In order to provide our users with a better overall experience, we ask for more information from Facebook when using it to login so that we can learn more about our audience and provide you with the best possible experience. We do not store specific user data and the sharing of it is not required to login with Facebook.