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Brendan Smith Memorial Picks, Week 8

 

What time is it? Picks time.

11 AM: Minnesota @ No. 19 Ohio State

I don't think that loss to Purdue makes Ohio State, like, worse than Minnesota. Just sayin'.

Pick in a mascot fight to the death: Well, the buckeye is still a nut, so, until the golden gopher is no longer a nut, I like the animate object. Game, Minnesota. (Mascot death fight records: Minnesota, 2-6, OSU, 0-8).

Pick: Ohio State.

11 AM: Illinois @ Purdue

GUHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. I think the deciding factor in this game is that Purdue University has a football team comprised of students that attend the university who play football, whereas Illinois, last I checked, does not. 

Pick in a mascot fight to the death: The boilermaker spends all his days making boilers, studying engineering and physics, and, I dunno, smelting crap. The Illini hunts and gathers. Except this time, he's hunting the ultimate prey: a guy wearing a hard hat. And, uh, gathering his corpse. After he kills him. Game, Illinois. (Mascot death fight record: Illinois, 4-3, Purdue, 6-2.)

Pick: Purdue

2:30: No. 13 Penn State @ Michigan

Woo! This is a goodie. Can Penn State, the second best team in the conference beat an opponent that isn't Temple? Can Michigan continue their dominance in the Big House this year? Can I watch? And yeah, we best all hope Penn State wins, because if we want any chance of goin bowling, them folks best be undefeated.

Pick in a mascot fight to the death: If anything could be better than PSU @ Michigan, how about LION VS. WOLVERINE DEATH MATCH. Yeah, that's right. Two predators, one a big friggin cat and the other a moderately oversized dog. But at the end of the day, mountain lions are solitary killers while wolverines work best in packs. A tough battle, but the Nittany Lion's feline murder skills come out on top. Game, PSU. (Mascot death fight records: Penn State, 7-0-1, Michigan, 5-3.)

6: No. 6 Iowa @ Michigan State

Well, that makes two good Big Ten games to watch tomorrow. Three, including the obligatory NU game. I'd take Iowa's defense against any team in the conference right now. MSU probably won't pull out the W, but it's gonna be a game. 

Pick in a mascot fight to the death: A mismatch. The spartan is undefeated, the hawk eye is still looking for its first win. Mainly because it's the disembodied eye of a hawk.. Game, MSU. (Mascot death fight records, MSU, 8-0, Iowa, 0-8.)


Check back in a bit, yo!