clock menu more-arrow no yes mobile

Filed under:

Name of the Week: Minnesota Edition

Da'Jon Mustard.
Da'Jon Mustard.

We have a first here on Sippin' on Purple: last year, Northwestern played Minnesota, and I did a Name of the Week post. This year, Northwestern plays Minnesota, and I'm doing a name of the week post.

Why am I doing another one? Well, first of all, teams change. For example, two players who made last year's post - Logan U'u, arguably my favorite name of the year and nobody can tell me anything different, and Xzavian Brandon - are no longer playing for the team. Brandon graduated, and U'u simply isn't on the roster - not sure what the situation was, because he was a junior last year.

But more importantly, my site has changed, and with it, so has the constituency. To assume that last year's voting will hold over to this year is unfair to both the voters and the candidates, and I won't stand for it. However, when applicable, I will use my descriptors from last year's posts, with slight tweaks. So, here we go. This week's honorable mentions include offensive lineman Jimmy Gjere, defensive end Ra'Shede Hageman, tight end Sahr Ngekia, and offensive lineman Johnathan Ragoo. Nominees after the jump:

#4, Hayo Carpenter: Admittedly, not the finest name, but still. Hayo is something rappers could say to catch someones attention, or something someone might say after a bad joke featuring the phrase "in my pants!", and Carpenter is a job. So it's an above-average name.

The juco transfer is now a senior, and has fallen out of the rotation at wide receiver and is now a backup. He hasn't played yet this year.

#83, Da'Jon McKnight: I had questions about whether to include Da'Jon, but left him in. Because his name is Da'Jon. Da'Jon is either like an emphatic way of saying "THE JOHN!", the french word for "Of John", or the mispronunciation of a delicious mustard.

Da'Jon is the team's second receiver - he has 16 receptions and two TD's in four games. He starts at one wide out spot, so, expect him.

#86, Tiree Eure: This name is just weird. Tiree Eure? I couldn't not include this name, because there are nine letters and six vowels, and I'm not sure how either of those are real names, but I can't support this name in good conscious because saying "Tiree Eure" makes me feel dirty. I could get behind it if it rhymed and had a cool cadence, like Ty-REE yoo-REE, but I doubt it.

Tiree is a backup tight end who transferred in from junior college. He's played in all four games this year, but hasn't yet recorded any stats.

The Incumbent:

#29, Shady Salamon: This is a ridiculously good name, and it's not even my pick for the week. First off, the guys first name is "Shady". Shady. That's his government name, as far as I can tell. Shady, like, when there's, like, trees over you, or when you're skeezy and people don't trust you. And Salamon sounds like Solomon, which is a first name old timey people had. Therefore, when you combine "Shady" and "Salamon", you get a name that sounds like it belongs to, like, a Mormon drug dealer or a wild west brothel owner. And that's awesome.

Shady is a backup running back, and easily won the voting last year with 26 of 60 votes. Sadly, in this, his junior year, he's fallen out of the rotation and now isn't listed on the depth chart at running back.

And my pick for name of the week...

#68, Jewhan Edwards: Jewhan. As a Jew, I wish Jewhan was something you said to fellow Jews as a introductory term, like, "yo, what's up, Jewhan, how's it goin, bro?" I could get behind that. Also, it could be like the Jewclaw or the Jewhorn. I just really like anybody named Jewhan. Sadly, thus far, the only person I know named Jewhan is Jewhan Edwards.

Jewhan is a junior, who after two years as a backup, is now a starter at defensive tackle. He has 5.5 tackles for loss and a sack. Vote. Jewhan.