(keep reading through this post: it seems depressing at first but eventually goes into me talking about heckling people which is always fun. I just felt I needed to provide something on the game after how horrible it was.)
Yesterday was an awful, awful, awful day.
I woke up at 10:45, saw Northwestern get doubled up by Wisconsin in basketball. Then I played sixth man for my fraternity's a-team because we were missing three guys, it turned out to be our first regular season loss in two seasons, and it was an 18-point blowout featuring an airballed 3-pointer and piss-poor rebounding in about ten minutes of run. (Not my fault we lost... might've had a shot if we played better.) Then the Jets lost, and with that, I pretty much lost my ability to think a rational manner for about an hour and a half.
I may or may not have broken some things.
But at the end of the day, I always look at myself and realize how lucky I am that the things that get me mad, furious, and depressed, are guys in green and, for NU's case, purple, playing sports. Part of that is just that I'm an easy-going guy that tends to laugh at stuff other people get mad about. Part of it is because I'm lucky enough to be a college student focused on stringing together cash for pizza and [beverage type redacted for plausible deniability] rather than, you know, real stuff. As much as yesterday was awful, I hope my ability to get more pissed off about sports than anything else continues.
On to the recap.
- Good news - Northwestern now accepts me as a full-time student! No problem getting into the game.
- However, I did have a problem with the fact that I was given a rally towel at the entrance to the game that says "DEPOSIT" on it. This is the dumbest giveaway I have ever seen. I would feel comfortable banking with Harris Bank, because I'm well aware that they spent a grand total of $42 on advertising slogans and initiatives, because their decision to sponsor nearly everything about or related to Northwestern and then do things that make no sense with basketball like print up rally towels that say "DEPOSIT" which is not a basketball term in any way is pretty dumb. I tried to rally on NU with the rally towel, but it didn't work. No deposits were made. In fact, I'm pretty sure NU was given an overdraft fee for having too little money in their account.
- Pivotal moment in sports history: NU is playing at home against a middling Wisconsin team. They are losing 69-34. Math majors will note that 69/34 is equal to 2.029, also known as slightly more than two, meaning for every point Northwestern had, Wisconsin had two and then some, meaning Northwestern had roughly half the amount of points Wisconsin had. At this point, the Northwestern band decided to play their rendition of the song "Livin' on a Prayer" by Bon Jovi, a mainstay of theirs at these games. (And one of my least favorite songs.) For those of you unfamiliar, these are the lyrics:
da-da-da-da-da HOLD ON to what we've got
somethin something difference if we make it or not
we've got each other and that's a lot for loooooove
WE'LL GIVE IT A SHOT (drum kick)
WOOOOOOOOOOAH WE'RE HALFWAY THEEERE
WOOOAH-OH LIVIN' ON A PRAYER
- I've highlighted the relevant portion. That is, the part where the singer, in this case, the Northwestern student section, points out that we are, in fact, halfway there. The song's intended message is one of hope: that we have made it half of the way there, and because we have each other, that's a lot.
- In the context of a 69-34 home basketball game against a conference opponent, the message of the song is HOLY CRAP THEY HAVE TWICE AS MANY POINTS AS US AND WE ARE DOOMED TO DIE ALONE. Next time, basketball band, think. Think of the context. Play a song that doesn't so thoroughly underline the fact that NU is being manhandled. Try one of your many new Lady Gaga songs! Play "Holiday" by Green Day for all I care. But playing "Livin' on a Prayer" while being doubled up is a historic bandfail that I will forever remember.
- Not to mention the really embarrassing part is that NU was, in fact, not halfway there. But that's besides the point.
- First off, I had a truly all-star game from my spot in the sixth or so row heckling. I was at the game with prolific heckler, Sippin' on Purple celebrity, and not-a-current-NU student MIke, who I believe occasionally comments under the name "Mr. Big Cup". It was a perfect combo of great heckling conditions: reasonably close to court, quiet/empty student section due to early start/Bears/frat thing I'll whine about later/Northwestern in general, Eddie Hightower was there, Wisconsin has a lot of players I know and with notable aspects ripe for heckling, and it was a complete and utter blowout, leaving my sound penetration capabilities very high. I assure you, Wquinton Smith knows EXACTLY how I feel about the fact that his name has a silent W in it. With about five minutes left, the girl in front of us politely asked us "if we would please shut up". We moved instead to a more friendly area on the other side of the basket where it turns out people found our digs on how No. 15 on Wisconsin looks like he should be on Team Edward funny.
- Dear that girl: if you read this site, stop, and go sit in the sections with the comfy padded seats so you can enjoy the game in peace and quiet.
- By the way, the comment that set her off was about whether or not Austin Nichols had scored yet this year. He hasn't.
- What shampoo do you think Mike Bruesewitz uses? My money's on Garnier Fructis.
- It's getting hard to go to NU games without seeing people I know are readers/commenters, but we had a first Sunday: someone on their laptop in the student section checking the Sippin' on Purple game thread.
- That, sirs, is dedication. Bringing a laptop to the game: I'm jealous since my laptop only works when plugged into the wall. I didn't see who it was or introduce myself because I think it's creepy to look over people's shoulders at what they're reading on their computer, but, just so you know: I saw that. In the future, Sippin' on Purple comments will be read over the Welsh-Ryan PA.
- In case you're wondering, I have nothing to say about the basketball game. I can't believe Wisconsin had less offensive rebounds than NU had rebounds, because it sure seemed like it.
- Question: do you think Wquinton Smith changed his name to Wquinton from Quinton because he's so dedicated to Wisconsin?
- Drew Crawford went Samson on everybody and shaved his high-top fade/Drewfro. This especially disappointed Wisconsin's Ryan Evans, who was looking forward to the Kid N Play reunion show and retaliated by having Wisconsin destroy Northwestern. I asked Evans how it felt that the hip-hop community has passed him by. He didn't respond.
- Wisconsin has the best hair in the conference. Pause.
- Solid week for Nick Fruendt, huh?
- John Shurna just can't play well against good teams! (onlyplayerthatshowedup) (13pointson13shotsisntgreatbutitaintdrewcrawford)
- To follow up on #whitegirlproblems on twitter, we decided the world might need a #fratboyproblems mainly lamenting the lack of toilet paper in our house and how tough cleaning up crushed Nattys is. Big one Sunday: NU held a mandatory risk management meeting for freshmen in fraternities 12:30 on Sunday, meaning freshman bros couldn't make it to the game. Suffice it to say freshman bros make up a nice percentage of NU's basketball fanbase. Sure enough, empty student section. #fratboyproblems
- That's it for now.