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I'm Not A Degenerate, I Just Gamble A Lot: Week 8

I'm Not A Degenerate, I Just Gamble A Lot is Sippin' On Purple's weekly discussion of college football point spreads, and by college football, we mean Big Ten games plus other national games of interest. All suggested wagers are for entertainment purposes only. All lines courtesy of, all times are central time.

Season Profit (including the vig): 47.91 Lundys

Another week, another 7 Lundys in profit. I am now threatening to crack the unheard of 50 Lundy barrier. One might say that I am filthy rich:


The third verse of that song contains one of the most offensive yet most brilliant lines I've ever heard in a rap song. It's actually so obscene that it's beneath the standards of a blog named after an illicit drug to print it (embedding the video is still cool though).

Time for the sports books to feel my wrath for an eighth straight week.


#4 Oklahoma St. Cowboys at Missouri Tigers (+7), 11 AM, FX

Old man college quarterback power rankings

1. Brandon Weeden

The field

Tied for last: Joe Bauserman and Dave Shinskie

The total for this game is 69.5. Even by the standards of the Big 12, that's a ridiculously high total. And I'm still taking the over, because I am a degenerate, title of these columns notwithstanding.

Bet Size 1 Lundy

#23 Illinois Fighting Illini at Purdue Boilermakers (+3.5), 11 AM, ESPN2

Dear People who set the lines,

Stop baiting me into betting on Ron Zook coached teams. I really don't want to have to do it, but when you make the line this low, I have no choice.



Bet Size: 2 Lundys

Indiana Hoosiers at Iowa Hawkeyes (-23.5), 11 AM, BTN

Wait a minute. When Iowa hosted Louisiana-Monroe a few weeks ago, they were only 17 point favorites, and now they're -23.5 against Indiana? No wonder Gunner Kiel is re-opening his recruitment.

That said, Iowa's defense is just bad enough to let Indiana get a couple touchdowns and stay within 21.

Bet Size: 2 Lundys

#20 Auburn Tigers at #1 LSU Tigers (-21), 2:30 PM, CBS

LSU has suspended several key players for allegedly smoking synthetic marijuana, and they're still three touchdown favorites. Wow. As a side note, LSU players smoking the synthetic marijuana, isn't the whole point of smoking that stuff rather than the real thing that it isn't tested for? Because I can't think why else you wouldn't just smoke the real thing rather than something that's just as illegal and was probably brewed by some methhead in a lab. Not very smart, guys, not very smart.

As for the game, I hate betting against Les Miles, but this line is so big I don't feel like I have much of a choice.

Bet Size: 2 Lundys

#13 Nebraska Cornhuskers at Minnesota Golden Gophers (+24.5), 2:30 PM, ABC/ESPN

Yes, you read that right, the Gophers are on ABC/ESPN. Why, I have no idea. There can't be quotas in play here since Northwestern usually goes the entire season without being on ABC. I guess it's the train wreck factor. I've learned my lesson betting on Minnesota; take Nebraska early and often.

Bet Size: 3 Lundys

#21 Penn St. Nittany Lions at Northwestern Wildcats (+4.5), 6 PM, BTN

This line is at least 3 points too low. I know Penn State has problems at quarterback, but I'm pretty sure Paterno could run out John McCain at quarterback and he'd still be able to throw for 200+ yards on Northwestern's secondary.The good news is I plan to be blackout drunk by kickoff, so I'll have no recollection of the beating.

Bet Size: 3 Lundys

#6 Wisconsin Badgers at #16 Michigan St. Spartans (+7), 7 PM, ESPN

ESPN's College Gameday will be on hand, but this won't be much of a game. Michigan State will be slightly hungover from their big win over rival Michigan last week, and Wisconsin needs style points to move up the BCS rankings. Badgers in a blowout.

Bet Size: 5 Lundys

#25 Washington Huskies at #8 Stanford Cardinal (-20), 7 PM, ABC

Washington is showing surprising signs of life this year behind quarterback Keith Price, who is proving to be a better college player than Todd McShay man crush Jake Locker. Price is no Andrew Luck, but the Huskies should be able to keep this one competitive.

Bet Size: 2 Lundys

Texas Tech Red Raiders at #3 Oklahoma Sooners (-28.5), 7 PM, ABC

Former Tech coach Mike Leach had this to say on a satellite radio interview:

If I was up I'd try to beat the line.

My man crush on Mike Leach might exceed McShay's love of Locker. Shame on Tech for firing this man, and shame on their fans for leaving shit all over the Texas A&M buses a couple weeks ago. Bob Stoops and OU will run up the score shamelessly in this one.

Bet Size: 2 Lundys