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I'm Not A Degenerate, I Just Gamble A Lot: Week 6

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I'm Not A Degenerate, I Just Gamble A Lot is Sippin' On Purple's weekly discussion of college football point spreads, and by college football, we mean Big Ten games plus other national games of interest. All suggested wagers are for entertainment purposes only. All lines courtesy of 5Dimes.com, all times are central time.

Season Profit (including the vig): 48.27 Lundys

After a minor setback in Week 4, I returned to my dominant ways and won another 13.5 Lundys last week. Big thanks to Wisconsin for pounding the hell out of Nebraska, to Texas for burying Iowa State in the first quarter, and Joe Bauserman and Braxton Miller for playing quarterback about as effectively as Bob Probert stayed sober (RIP).

For this week, in honor of Ed McCants stopping by and posting on the site, all wagers will be 3 Lundys or some multiple of 3. During his college career, McCants nailed more threes than Jimmy McNulty at last call, so it's a fitting tribute. Plus you'll win three times the Lundys!

Saturday

#3 Oklahoma Sooners vs. #11 Texas Longhorns (+10,5), 11 AM, ABC

Was discussing the Red River Shootout with the friend whom I attended the TicketCity Bowl with yesterday:

1:32 PM you def need to come down for it one of these years, it's pretty much awesome

  imagine the cotton bowl with people actually there

Sounds a lot better than the TicketCity Bowl! Plus, fried food at the fair. As for the game, Texas has been looking better by the week, and they should keep it close.

Bet Size: 3 Lundys

Minnesota Golden Gophers at Purdue Boilermakers (-14), 11 AM, ESPN

Two dysfunctional, bottom-feeding programs meet in West Lafayette, and somehow Purdue, whose 3 games versus FBS competition have been a last second comeback win over Middle Tennessee State, a loss to Rice, and an ass-kicking at home by Notre Dame, is a two touchdown favorite. Not bad for a team where a quarterback is feuding with the coach on Twitter.

Look. I know Minnesota is absolutely awful, but I have a hard time believing they are two touchdowns worse than a bad Purdue team. I would have guessed Purdue to be favored by about 7 here and I can usually guess the spread within 2 or 3. So I'm going to place a large wager on probably the worst BCS team in the country. Think of it as a bet against Purdue if it makes you feel better.

Bet Size: 9 Lundys

#19 Illinois Fighting Illini at Indiana Hoosiers (+14), 1:30 PM, BTN

Illinois should win by at least 21, but they have let inferior opponents nearly beat them the last two weeks, so I'm staying away from a bet on this one

Boston College Eagles at #8 Clemson Tigers (-20.5), 2 PM, ESPN3.com

Montel Harris is injured again, meaning BC sucks even more than usual. This one should be over after a quarter.

Bet Size: 3 Lundys

#17 Florida Gators at #1 LSU Tigers (-13), 2:30 PM, CBS

Florida's down to their backup QB going into Death Valley. Any other questions?

Bet Size: 6 Lundys on Les Miles

Iowa Hawkeyes at Penn St. Nittany Lions (-4), 2:30 PM, ABC/ESPN

What will happen when Penn State's crappy offense battles Iowa's crappy defense? I'm guessing Iowa comes out on top given their recent dominance in this rivalry.

Bet Size: 3 Lundys

#12 Michigan Wolverines at Northwestern WIldcats (+7.5), 6 PM, BTN

It's a good thing this is a night game because Denard Robinson is going to do things to Northwestern's defense that aren't fit to be seen by children. Even if Persa channels his inner Zak Kustok, Treyvon Green is going to have to be Damien Anderson for Northwestern to score enough points to keep up. Wolverines in a blowout.

Bet Size: 6 Lundys

Ohio St. Buckeyes at #14 Nebraska Cornhuskers (-11), 7 PM, ABC

Ohio State's best chance to win this game would be to sneak Ed Reed into uniform to run back Taylor Martinez interceptions for touchdowns:

 

Because Bauserman and Miller sure as hell aren't putting any points on the board. Bet the Huskers early and often, and if you want to tease them with the under 44.5, knock yourself out.

Bet Size: 6 Lundys