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Name of the Week: Texas A&M Edition

One of the great things about going bowling is that you get access to a whole 'nother world, a different dimension, a team from another conference that you might typically never play. With that comes over 100 names which Northwestern might never otherwise see.

Texas A&M has a batch of names, and although it isn't the best slate of all time, we're proud to say some of them are quite worthy of Name of the Week consideration. Are any of them as good as past bowl name candidates Woody Paramore or Nubian Peak? Well, that's for you to judge. Runners up this week include tight end Nehemiah Hicks, offensive lineman Shep Klinke, wide receiver LeKendrick Williams, defensive lineman Shayvion Hatten, joker - yeah, that's his position, deal with it - Damontre Moore, defensive back Johntel Franklin, and defensive back Coryell Judie.

More names after the jump.

No. 88, Gaston Lamascus: This isn't your stereotypical NOTW name, but, well, I really enjoy the concept of a guy with a handlebar moustache standing on the sidelines in a chefs hat brewing up a fresh bowl of ratatouille and offering his coaches Camembert every time they try to put him in the game.

Gaston is a sophomore wide receiver who saw his first ever playing time against Kansas, but didn't record any stats.

No. 33, Christine Michael: In three years of going through names of hundreds of football players weekly, this is the first time I've ever seen one and just thought, "well, that's the first time I've ever seen someone who isn't female with that name". Again, not a great name, but, dude, "Christine".

Christine started out the season playing a lot at running back and was a likely all-Big 12 RB, but tore his ACL against Oklahoma. Before that, Michael had 900 yards in nine games getting six yards a carry, including an absurd three-touchdown, 230-yard outing against Arkansas.

No. 73, Rhontae Scales: This was originally intended to be a mix between "Ron" and "Dante" but somehow ended up being a mix between "Rhododendron" and "Algae". "Rhontae Scales" is a great name for a corrupt backwater judge in an 1840's frontier town.

Rhontae is a backup offensive lineman who isn't on the depth chart but has played in ten games on special teams.

No. 29, Deshazor Everett: A deshazor is an implement people in the 24th century will use to remove facial hair. It will involve lasers and people will keep it really high in their bathroom cabinets so that their kids hoverboots won't be able to make them hover high enough to reach it because it will be dangerous.

Deshazor is a true freshman who has cracked the rotation in the defensive backfield, playing in every game thus far and recording 10 tackles.

No. 3, Jameill Showers: Jameill showers every day. Jameill likes to call the showers he takes "Jameill Showers" to specify that they are the showers he is taking and nobody else is taking. If he's eating a sandwich in there, he calls it "Jameill Showers' meal shower". The past four sentences are the dumbest things anybody has ever thought about so I'd prefer nobody read them, and if you did have one of those Men in Black dudes point that pen thingy in front of your face.

Jameill is a redshirt freshman quarterback and the presumptive heir to Ryan Tannehill's spot as the Aggies' quarterback. He saw action three times this year, twice in mop-up duty where he completed four of five passes, and a third time against Kansas State, when he ran for a touchdown in the team's 53-50 quadruple overtime loss.

No. 27, Mister Jones

You walk into the room

With a pencil in your hand

You see somebody naked

And you say who is that man

You try so hard but you don't understand

Just what you will say when you get home

Because something is happening here and you don't know what it is

Do you

Mister Jones

(conversation from 25 years from now)

"Your daughter is the best thing ever to happen to me. Thanks again for having us over for dinner, Mr. Jones."

"Come on now, we're going to be family, enough with the formality! Call me Mister."

"Umm... (long pause) Okay, goodnight, uh... Mr. Jones."

"(laughs) Please, Mr. Jones is my father's name! You can call me Mister."


Something is happening in the Texas A&M backfield, and Mister Jones doesn't know what it is: he's a redshirt freshman running back who saw his first career playing time against Idaho but hasn't recorded any career stats.