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Sippin' on Purple Blogpoll, Week Five: Wherein I am Quite Stupid But I Think That's Going to Be a Trend

You may not want to hear what I think about college football, but I'm modestly interested in hearing what you have to say. Unfortunately, I'm the one with the blog, so I have to write fluff to put above the jump for you guys to read before I put in my classy looking Blogpoll ballot in. 


No. 1: LSU Tigers

It's not so much that LSU has gone out and beaten ranked teams in back-to-back weeks - and Mississippi State clearly isn't a ranked team anymore - they've absolutely smoked them. West Virginia, a damn good team, scored 21 points more out of seeming LSU indifference than anything else in a game LSU forced four turnovers. I'm not of the belief that a team that's No. 1 deserves to stay there til they lose - I'ma shuffle around even as LSU/Alabama/Oklahoma/Boise State etc. keep winning because I think polling should be about, you know, who you think the best team in the country is based on the results of all of the games thus far.

No. 2: Alabama Crimson Tide

Samesies. Arkansas didn't stand a freakin' chance ROLL TAHHD.

No. 3: Oklahoma Sooners

The fall from No. 1 is so much a demerit for a mediocre performance over a mediocre Mizzou team as much a reflection of the fact that beating Florida State a few weeks back just doesn't seem as impressive now. Interestingly, the Blogpoll at large agreed with me about the entire top three, bumping Oklahoma down as well.

No. 4: Boise State Broncos

The blue ghost horses were dominating Tulsa as they should've before giving up some points, but, whatever. I'm not sure whether I'll ever be compelled to drop Boise State unless they lose, but they're clearly not going to lose.

No. 5: Stanford Cardinal

Week off. This seems like a good place to discuss my theory that Stanford is essentially Northwestern except if everything - academics, location, weather, football, etc. - was like, 10-15 percent better. The only exception is basketball where they are a billion percent better.

No. 6: Wisconsin Badgers

I pray to the flying spaghetti monster every day to thank him for the fact Wisconsin is not on Northwestern's schedule. Also, for giving me the idea to make Frat Fitzgerald t-shirts.

No. 7: Oklahoma State Cowboys

The Cowboys jumped two spots on the blogpoll, but I kept them the same. QUESTION: if a team ranked No. 7 plays a team ranked No. 8 and wins by one point, what about that doesn't indicate that they're still No. 7? Brandon Weeden must have been glad Dave Shinskie played in BC's game. 

No. 8: Nebraska Cornhuskers

Every day I curse the flying spaghetti monster for Nebraska being on our schedule this year. Beating Wyoming isn't impressive, considering Wyoming makes Lincoln, Nebraska look like Times Square.

No. 9: Oregon Ducks

Lost in all this is that Arizona is 1-3 and could kick the crap out of Northwestern.

No. 10: Baylor Bears

RGIII has more touchdowns than interceptions and yet y'all still don't consider this team top ten? Word? 

No. 11: Florida Gators

The ESPN headline is "Florida Starts off Slow Before Walloping Kentucky". The score was 21-3 after the first quarter. "Headline Writer Starts off Hammered Before Writing Inaccurately".

No. 12: South Carolina Gamecocks

Sakerlina womp-womped on my blogpoll bracket last week by holding my favorite No. 25 pick, Vanderbilt, to three points. KICK IN THE DORES WAVIN THE FOUR-FOUR. If you're feeling down on yourselves, Vandy, I still want to transfer to you so I can get a good degree with tailgating and wear seersucker and Sperrys and drink Maker's Mark and the hot chicks and please just take me.

No. 13: Clemson Tigers

Clemmy, as I call them, beat Auburn and FSU in back to back weeks and jumped in errbody's bracket. Despite Tajh Boyd's derp, this is a damn good team.

No. 14: Virginia Tech Hokies

4-0! I guess I'm impressed.

No. 15: Texas A&M Aggies

Blogpoll dropped 'em eight spots. I only dropped 'em six, because, well, they were up 20-3 on a very good team and ended up losing by one point. Not exactly a depressing outing. However, watching the game Saturday confirmed Fake Dan Beebe's statement that Texas A&M students are extremely, extremely weird. I saw like, one normal person in the stands Saturday. 

No. 16: Georgia Tech Yellow Jackets

I had them ranked highly, I'm not saying that beating UNC by seven makes them so great. This is around the part of the Blogpoll where things start getting a little bit questionable because none of these teams have had tremendous outings. However, Georgia Tech did have a tremendous outing in TV: where Northwestern's ad is a guy in a creepy voice saying "NORTHWESTERN, GREAT ACADEMICS" and other stuff, Georgia Tech's is a vibraphone-playing robot having a drumming competition against a female drummer. Yeah. That school sounds awesome.

No. 17: South Florida Bulls

I'm finally forced to admit that Notre Dame losing to this team isn't that crazy. I'm furious. They're 4-0 after romping on UTEP.

No. 18: Arkansas Razorbacks

Dropped a couple after rammer bammer yella hammer give em hell alabama. Chalking it up to Bama being good n stuff.

No. 19: TCU Horned Frogs

The only team they lost to is Baylor, and I think Baylor is dope!

No. 20: Texas Longhorns

Bye this week. The eyes of Texas are upon the fourth best team in Texas (not counting the NFL).

No. 21: West Virginia Mountaineers

Ain't no shame in losing to LSU, but obligatory four squad drop.

No. 22: Michigan Wolverines


No. 23: Illinois Fighting Illini

Well. I dropped them after a win, which is rare from me, but, jeez, son, Western Michigan? I mainly think the reason I dropped them is for a slight boost in confidence pre-Illinois week but crap they're going to murder us.

No. 24: Florida State Seminoles

Couldn't be convinced into dropping this squad all the way out of the poll after two losses, but they possibly deserve it. I'm becoming growingly convinced FSU just isn't very good, but we shall see.

No. 25: Arizona State Sun Devils

USC may suck, but, well, still. Burfict.