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Thursday Sips, Featuring More Naptime, All-Purpose All-Americans, and T-Magic Impostors

More on Northwestern's cat nap, Kain Colter and Venric Mark on some midseason all-American lists, and Jordan Mabin back in the NFL.

By Rodger Sherman
Benny Sieu-US PRESSWIRE

Nebraska tries its hand at satire: With Corn Nation's piece making fun of us for being nerds! LOL! Its sort of like jokes about how Nebraskans are obsessed with corn, the most delicious and versatile of all American crops.

The Napwestern Wildnaps: Coach Fitz tweeted the now famous pre-game routine for NU, including naptime.

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Equally noteworthy to the nap - by the way, if you think 45 minutes is a nap, you're an amateur - is the fact that Northwestern eats breakfast for an hour, then has a "pre-game meal" for an hour just an hour and 45 minutes later. Literal housecats think these dudes are lazy. To quote the defense's pregame chant, EVERYBODY EATS EVERYBODY EATS EVERYBODY EATS.

Seriously, playing for NU sounds enjoyable: Between all the eating and napping and sleeping and the defensive line nicknaming themselves "the fun train". That's the jauntiest, least frightening name for a defensive unit ever, but I'll take it.

Northwestern has all the purposes: Did you know all-American teams had an "All-Purpose" slot? I sorta didn't. But apparently they do! That's great news for Northwestern: Kain Colter made ESPN's first team midseason list for playing quarterback and running back and wide receiver, while Venric Mark made SI.com's list as a second-teamer for playing running back and being just about the best at returning punts.

YOUNG BUCK IN THE GAME: Northwestern's faux-Taylor Martinez is running back Stephen Buckley. Apparently his throwing motion is reminiscient of John Shurna's jumper.

B&C Enterprises: Kenny Bell and Kain Colter go all the way back to when they were best friends in elementary school and before, but now one plays for Nebraska and the other for Northwestern. A classic American tale about two men realizing they couldn't coexist, once friends, now bitter enemies, torn apart by business.

Call me Mabin: Jordan Mabin joined the Baltimore Ravens practice squad, only DAYS after completely mastering the French language to adjust to life in Montreal. C'est la vie, Jordan, n'est-ce pas?

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