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Northwestern Basketball vs. Iowa Live Blog

Back by popular demand, it's the Thursday night drunk live blog! Coming to you from my couch after an endless of day of work and class.

Pregame: Fuck me it's the dumbest human with access to the airwaves on the ESPN family of networks, Tim McCormick. I know people want to read about the game, so I'll just rant about him now and drop it (probably). Basically, what Tim McCormick proves is that as long as you don't say anything sexist, racist, or otherwise slanderous on air, you cannot be fired from a broadcasting position, no matter your level of expertise or competence. Remember when Dre said he gives eargasms with his mellow accent? Tim McCormick is the opposite of an eargasm, whatever that is.

20:00 - shocked that Melsahn Basabe isn't even starting. A lot of people had him as a darkhorse All-Big Ten candidate, and he's lost his job to a ginger. Most disappointing player in the Big Ten , bar none.

19:48 - Shurna could have sprained an ankle there, heart stopped briefly.

19:09 - Sobolewski can't get through a screen and Iowa gets a wide open three. I'm struggling to come up with a worse defensive player in the Big Ten who plays a lot of minutes than Sobo. He is absolutely terrible at every facet of defense.

17:40- Sobo atones by hitting a three to get NU on the board, and Carmody goes to the 1-3-1.

16:09 - Aaron White handling the ball out high against the 1-3-1 is a matchup that favors NU. By a lot.

15:43 - Reggie Hearn just made the best post move an NU player has made since Evan Eschmeyer.

15:20 - What a take by Sobo, very nice. Shurna keyed that breakout with a strong box out of White.

14:58 - I've seen very little to indicate that Iowa can get stops, but I still think NU should slow down the pace, a 70+ possession game favors Iowa with their depth advantage.

14:40- Curletti is the worst finisher at the rim for a big man I have ever seen at any level of basketball, and there isn't even a close second.

12:53 - Hearn again, where would NU be without this guy? 1-3-1 has been very active getting in passing lanes too. Optimism growing against my better judgment.

12:29 - Bryce Cartwright looks like he's never seen a 1-3-1 zone before, trying to dribble through it is not what you're supposed to do, Bryce. NU up 10 and Fran calls timeout, no chairs thrown yet.

11:35 - Marcotullio has absolutely no conscience, if he's open inside 25 feet it's going up.

10:55 - Cartwright couldn't be playing worse if he were point shaving.

10:08 - Great block by Hearn but that was a clear foul on Shurna, break there.

9:00 - Revenge by Cartwright, steals it from Sobo. Sobo has had several great offensive plays and several completely awful ones.

8:40 - Cant believe I'm about to type this, but why did Carmody go away from the 1-3-1, was forcing turnovers left and right.

7:25 - For fuck's sake Curletti, Ivan Peljusic is shaking his head at that display, why are you pressuring the ball at halfcourt?

6:18 - I said I wasn't going to mock McCormick, but when you compare Drew Crawford to Dwyane Wade, I can't let that pass without comment.

5:12 - Nick Fruendt sighting!

4:57 - The thing about Shurna in the post is his release point is so low, he can't exploit a height advantage.

4:53 - Yo Fruendt, it's called a shot fake, never seen Bob Knight call a game?

4:14 - I'm going to be upset if see even one more possession that's not 1-3-1. Iowa has no clue what to do against it.

3:17 - Iowa finally goes full court press, which they should have been doing to start the game. NU manages to break it and get a Shurna three though.

3:05 - Sobolewski, take notes from Shurna on how to close out on a shooter.

2:19 - Who was the last Big Ten walk on to be anywhere near as good as Reggie Hearn? I remember Minnesota had a big man maybe 5 or 6 years ago who was a former walk on and was decent, someone help me out here.

2:03 - This is as bad as I have ever seen a team look against Northwestern's 1-3-1***. Iowa is just passing it right to Northwestern players or out of bounds.

*** Non Dan Monson division.

1:03 - Come on ref where's the NBA continuation?

0:47 - OH. MY. GOD. Shurna. There's your and one. Ahahahahaha on the replay Fruendt, who set up the play, has a hilarious fist pump. Man, that was awesome.

Halftime - Ooh, they're showing Murray State, the worst 7th ranked team in the history of college basketball (they'd be an underdog if they played NU at Welsh-Ryan). This reminds me of when Juice single handedly won a game for NU against Tennessee State a couple years ago.

Wait this Murray State coach isn't fouling down one with a 5 second differential? Is he drunk?

Remember in Good Will Hunting when they go to the Harvard bar and Ben Affleck says "I thought they'd have equations and shit on the walls"? In the Northwestern University commercial they've brought his expectation to life.

What a choke by Murray State. Frauds. Also, we missed three minutes of the game to watch the Ohio fucking Valley Conference, most of it timeouts. Horrible.

16:39 - What in the wild wild world of sports, NU is in the bonus already?

Did they just tease the Wisconsin Green Bay womens team on ESPNU in a month? Cancel your plans, kids.

16:12 - You gotta be fucking kidding me, I missed Andrew Brommer committing three fouls in 54 seconds? You're dead to me, ESPNU.

16:04 - Crawford with an emphatic dunk, we're approaching #BEATEMDOWN territory.

15:37 - Does Josh Oglesby understand that in order to actually play help defense, you have to do more than just wander into the vicinity, you actually have to pressure the ball handler?

14:28 - Sobo hits a three, and then OMG HE MADE A GOOD DEFENSIVE PLAY STOP THE PRESSES.

14:07 - Cartwright's ineptitude is high comedy. I can't imagine the BHGP comment section right now.

13:35 - I know he got fouled but still Curletti, how do you miss that lay-up?

13:23 - And there's your racially motivated John Shurna - Gordon Hayward comparison from McCormick. Completely different players, but both goofy looking white guys, so they get compared.

12:40 - Curletti making a jump shot = I chug the rest of my beer.

11:44 - Aaron White is a very good player, I'm impressed.

10:20 - Reggie Hearn again from three, and the lead is now 16. This is fun.

8:58 - Reggie mother fucking Hearn. Lead is 21. #BEATEMDOWN.

8:31 - Carmody still upset, calls timeout. Now an ad about Nolan Richardson's title winning team at Arkansas, definitely watching that, Richardson is a fascinating guy.

7:33 - Hey Carmody, assuming you don't get fired, can you recruit someone like Aaron White in the near future, please?

7:02 - Curletti, do you not have any dignity? Stop flopping, son.

6:13 - Hearn, I love you buddy, but posting up Basabe probably wasn't the best idea you've ever had.

5:36 - Looks like Ross from BHGP was right that NU would MURDERDEATHKILL Iowa's defense, Marcotullio now with back to back threes.

5:08 - Marcotullio with 9 points in 3 possessions. The lead is 24. I am happy.

3:04 - Sobolewski with a career high 21. If he ever learns how to play defense he could become a star.

Ahahahaha McCormick rats out Shurna for not paying attention in class. Stop snitching, yo.

2:32 - Carmody, it's walk on time. Free Omar!

2:19 - Poor Fruendt was just standing there and Basabe scores over him and draws the foul.

1:26 - Shurna, stop hurting your three point percentage with stuff like that.

1:00 - Sobo hurting that assist to turnover ratio with a carry in garbage time.

0:41 - HAHAHAHAHHAHA Curletti dribbles it off his foot when he had an easy layup.

Final - And that's gonna do it, NU wins by 19. Impressive win, outcome was never in doubt against a team with some solid road wins. Offense is locked in right now, let's see if they can carry this over to Sunday against Purdue.