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One Less Day Til Football Season: No. 96, Anthony Battle


Dillo Day was interesting! Big Boi was awesome. I didn't stick around for Steve Aoki, but, well, there were empanadas and lots of beer. Today is lax - that game's at 7, we'll have a game thread up and Herman might have some stuff on tap about that.

Also, awkward about-face only a few days into this countdown: Deonte Gibson is No. 98, not Will Hampton. (Hampton is 92.) So I'll do him in Hampton's turn.

No. 96, Anthony Battle, DE

Who he be: Anthony is a redshirt sophomore defensive end. Out of high school, he was a three star recruit, earning offers from Army and Cincinnati. He hasn't had an opportunity to play much yet at Northwestern - just two games, one tackle.

Anthony Battleship:

Tim Riggins: So you're telling me if we get it past Anthony Battle, we beat the aliens and they go away?

Coach Taylor: Let me tell you something. Listen up here, I'll tell you what: yes.

Rihanna: I'm Rihanna.

Riggins: Look, as an eighth-year fullback, the most important position in football, you have to give me the ball.

Landry: Hey, remember that time I made a bunch of important plays in a game but I was still like backup tight end or kicker or something?

Riggins: No, nobody remembers that time because you aren't that good looking. But we all remember when you killed that guy because it was an awful plotline.

Rihanna: I'm Rihanna!

Coach Taylor: Hey, let me tell you something: what do we know about this Battle kid?

Racist offensive coordinator: Nothing. Nobody knows anything about defense. In five seasons, we've talked about defense, like, maybe three times, like when that troubled Mexican kid moved in with Buddy Garrity. Nobody in Dillon plays defense or knows anything about playing defense.

Coach Taylor: Hey, let me tell you something: Riggins, we're gonna give you the ball. For earth. You got that straight? (Riggins runs a fullback sweep to the outside. As Riggins meets Battle, the screen turns black and credits roll. After the credits, there is a scene of aliens watching the game and clapping.)

Random song: "Battle Without Honor or Humanity", Tomoyasu Hotei

You probably know this as "the song where Lucy Liu walks down the hallway like a badass in Kill Bill." I don't know much about Tomayasu Hotei, but what I do know is that the guy can absolutely SHRED:

Player Page Tidbits: (Some players have lots of stuff on their player pages. I'll look through it and find the best stuff so you don't have to) Battle has by far the best-written Q-and-A session in the history of college athletes describing their favorite songs:

Q: My favorite place to visit is and why?
A: I like to spend time near the lake because it is calm and humbling. It is quite a sublime experience to see both the beauty and terror of nature.

Outlook for next year: Defensive end is a hard position to break into with Tyler Scott and Quentin Williams more or less guaranteed starting spots, so Battle might not be a major contributor. Look for him to be a reserve lineman, and probably not a major factor, but don't count anything out.