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Tuesday Sips, Featuring Cuts, Stress, And Almost Football

Hope you had fun in the NFL, Jordan! (Seriously, please catch on somewhere.)
Hope you had fun in the NFL, Jordan! (Seriously, please catch on somewhere.)

Northwestern football season is almost here! That means more posts, in addition to this one about Syracuse's dumb stuff that may have happened while you were sleeping.

Bets, hedged: If there's one thing Pat Fitzgerald hates more than Iowa, its revealing literally anything about his team to the media.

"Game-plan wise we could take the whole dang thing, potentially, and throw it out after the first quarter," Fitzgerald said Monday. "We'll try to be as prepared as we can be but be ready to adjust."

Ha! That said, Teddy Greenstein's notes include some interesting stuff, like the fact that NU might go four-deep at running back. Then again, they might not.

#beatcuse: TNIAAM has their post up outlining how and why their fans should hashtag this weekend. I think we know how to respond. #beatcuse

What is this "cheering" you speak of?: @NUHighlights tweeted out something he got in the mail with his NU season tickets. It's a list of expectations for fans, and, uh, as you'd expect, every single person from every other school is going to make fun of us.

This note will be read by three types of people:

  1. NUHighlights
  2. Nebraska fans, who will laugh at it while slathering their corndog in corn sauce before toss it in their garbage with all the husks
  3. Northwestern's fanbase, which is entirely comprised of 75-year old British elites, who upon receiving the note from their butler, will go "I say, applauding at a football game? Like a commoner! I say!" They might also say something along the lines of "Pish-posh!" before returning to their tea and crumpets.

Snip: Monday was the first cut day in the NFL as teams needed to trim their rosters to 75, and by golly, were there cuts. In a quick check around the league, Northwestern lost Zeke Markhausen, Andrew Brewer, and Jordan Mabin, although a good percentage of NU's players that seemed on the brink of losing jobs are still there, notably Al Netter with the 49ers. Jeremy Ebert has apparently really impressed in New England, as the team opted to cut veterans Donte Stallworth and Jabar Gaffney while he retains a roster spot. Nice to see.

Rhymes with "Ugh": Syracuse's best player, from a pure talent perspective, is most likely left tackle Justin Pugh. However, he'll remain out for the team's opener against Northwestern. That story notes that Pugh met with "St. James Andrews", which I think is supposed to be "Dr. James Andrews", unless the good doctor has been canonized.

Get your squeezy ball: Newsweek released a list of the most stressful colleges, and Northwestern placed No. 5. Impressed at Newsweek for using the final scores of the football and basketball teams as one of the factors. Jokes aside, this is monumentally dumb for two reasons. a) If you're a freshman or potential student looking at this and thinking "oh, man, I shouldn't apply to this college because it's stressful", there's something wrong there. School is what you make of it. Classes stressing you out? Take easier classes, maybe sleep in and remember that you can have a beer or 10 when your paper's done. Student group too much work? Take a smaller role. Didn't get into the fraternity/sorority you wanted to? Girlfriend/boyfriend pissing you off? There are literally thousands of people of the opposite gender of the same age as you. Didn't get into the frat/sorority you wanted to? (I see you, girl crying on every single dorm lounge couch at Northwestern.) Well, you're just as good looking and smart and fun to be around as you were before, unless you're ugly and dumb and annoying, in which case it wouldn't have really mattered in the first place, because you would've just been that ugly, dumb, annoying girl in the good sorority. Sure, things happen that are frustrating, but that's true of everywhere and everything. If you want to hate your life, go ahead, but it's not Northwestern that's making you do that. I wanted my college time to be the best four years they could be, and I think they were, and the fact that this list purports otherwise sort of irritates me. The other reason this list is dumb is that b) University of Chicago is not ranked higher, because that place actually seems like a stress-filled hellhole.

And your Tweet of the day: More joy at receiving season tickets: