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Monday Sips, featuring B1G parity, the Hiller tree, and Qatar

The Big Ten Conference has parity in basketball, NU in Qatar has sports? and Kelly Amonte Hiller's coaching tree is growing branches.

I got a whole lotta links (da-nehhh da-nehhh dang) I got a whole lotta links (da-nehhh da-nehhh dang) /Robert Plant sex noises breakdown /Jimmy Page murders a guitar /your classic rock station plays "Living Loving Maid" even though it's just the worst song ever

IN THE CIRRRRRRRRCLEEEEEE: Behold: the nation's best college basketball conference has parity. Err, almost:

Dear Jared Swopshire: be healthy. I don't want to lose to Penn State. (Oh, on that, we'll know his status by Wednesday - he has a doctor's meeting tomorrow, per Inside NU.)

NU Lax press!: The Wildcats were featured in the LA Times when talking about the fledgling USC women's lacrosse program, who Northwestern beat the Troy out of Saturday 18-5. (Herman will be around to talk LAX with time.) Philip Hersh profiled the Kelly Amonte Hiller women's lax coaching tree for the Trib the other day as well. As for that USC-Northwestern game, Lane Kiffin was there all by himself.

Important LOLhat news: Hasbro let fans vote on the newest Monopoly piece. They went with a cat. Y'all know how we fell about Monopoly pieces around here - we like ours to stay in Evanston - and I think y'all know how we feel about cats, too, so this is good news. In other Illinois-Northwestern related news, the Illini hired former NU defensive coordinator Greg Colby to handle the defensive line in Champaign. You may remember Colby from the thousands of points scored against Northwestern during his tenure, or from me calling him Greg LOLby just now. Colby cheese defense: full of holes.

Go Qats! The Northwestern-Qatar campus has a women's basketball team, and they won the Qatari women's basketball tournament! Wooooo! Goooooo Qatari Northweeeeeesterrrrrn break right through that liiine. We still haven't made the NCAA Tournament, but HOW MANY OF Y'ALL GOT QATARI SHIPS

B1G tymers: The Big Ten coaches have their collective panties all up in a bunch about those recruiting changes, which we already talked about re: Fitz the other day. The joke is that the Big Ten wants to slow everything down and restore the sanctity of football, which is funny because, you know. Urban Meyer, on the other hand, is angry because other Big Ten coaches aren't enough of a challenge for him on the recruiting front and it hurts the conference, which prompted Peter Berkes to ask: why do we hate Urban Meyer? It's a good question, but one I haven't had to deal with - Northwestern has only played Ohio State once since I got into college back in 2008 - but one we'll have to think about soon. Let's start figuring out why we hate Urban Meyer.

In other B1G news, the coaches want to expand the schedule, which is no surprise.

Me, elsewhere: I did this Mad Lib for inane college football arrests. I've done a lot of stuff, but most of it about stuff you don't care about.

Pro Boosie: An NFL Draft site caught up with David Nwabuisi. He's a long shot to get picked, but he might be an undrafted free agent.