75 things less important in your life than Northwestern vs. Lewis

1. Eating

2. Sleeping

3. Drinking

Obviously, none of these things truly matter. Also, by choosing to watch this game, you tacitly admit that doing any of these things is less important than the two hours invested into Northwestern crushing a DII team.

4. New Zealand

5. Saturdays

6. Duke basketball

I think we can all agree on No. 6.

7. Milk

8. That feeling when you’ve lost something forever but you still believe it’s behind that one object.

9. Professional squash

10. Life Cereal

11. The New Kellogg Building

12. Pat Fitzgerald’s shorts REDACTED

David Banks-USA TODAY Sports

12. The element of surprise

13. Western democracy

14. Analytics

15. Habsburg Spain

16. All things related to Star Wars and all Expanded Universe material.

17. Taylor Swift

18. Ken Pomeroy

19. The unknown, as a concept

20. Rejection

21. A Hero of Our Time by Mikhail Lermontov

22. The Communist Manifesto

23. The song “Bills” by LunchMoney Lewis

24. Former Ravens backup QB Thad Lewis

25. Meriweather Lewis and William Clark

26. King Louis IX of France

27. France had a lot of kings named Louis, so all the rest of them too.

28-44: Every single one of those kings, up through the Bourbon Restoration

45. All of human history in general

46. Cyprus

47. Lewiston, Maine

48. Louisiana

49. Northwestern’s game against Chicago State

50. Santa Claus

Okay, here me out, even if Santa were real, would the frequent home invasions be any less important than watching this game?

51. Marvin Lewis

Bengals fans nod

52. The other 71 college basketball non-conference games on 12/19

Well, to Northwestern fans, surely, this game is the most important. Also, the slate is very bad.

53. Lewis Hamilton

54. Daniel Day-Lewis

55. Shelter (forgot about that one)

56. The Iron Throne

Seriously though, it’s a fictional creation, this is a real-life basketball game.

57. ESPN internal politics

58. Lithuania

59. LaVar Ball

60. The New York Yankees

61. The Boxcar Children books

62. All of the Percy Jackson films

63. Inside NU’s Facebook comments

64. Pivoting to video

65. Vitamin C

Okay, I’m kidding about that one.

66. Execute Order 66, oh wait, I said no more Star Wars references, never mind

67. “Seven Nation Army” by The White Stripes

68. The Chicago White Sox

69. nope, not gonna do it

70. The French Connection, whatever that is

71. The search for a higher being.

72. European basketball

73. The emergence of mass economic inequality, flouting of political norms, not giving civil rights to Italian allies, and intractable senators unwilling to reform anything in the late Roman Republic. Wait, actually, that might matter a lot to you.

74. The NFL’s catch rules

75. Every spoonerism ever created. That being said...Leriweather Mewis.

Go watch this game, fellow Northwestern fans.