Obviously, none of these things truly matter. Also, by choosing to watch this game, you tacitly admit that doing any of these things is less important than the two hours invested into Northwestern crushing a DII team.
4. New Zealand
6. Duke basketball
I think we can all agree on No. 6.
8. That feeling when you’ve lost something forever but you still believe it’s behind that one object.
9. Professional squash
10. Life Cereal
11. The New Kellogg Building
12. Pat Fitzgerald’s shorts REDACTED
12. The element of surprise
13. Western democracy
15. Habsburg Spain
16. All things related to Star Wars and all Expanded Universe material.
17. Taylor Swift
18. Ken Pomeroy
19. The unknown, as a concept
21. A Hero of Our Time by Mikhail Lermontov
22. The Communist Manifesto
23. The song “Bills” by LunchMoney Lewis
24. Former Ravens backup QB Thad Lewis
25. Meriweather Lewis and William Clark
26. King Louis IX of France
27. France had a lot of kings named Louis, so all the rest of them too.
28-44: Every single one of those kings, up through the Bourbon Restoration
45. All of human history in general
47. Lewiston, Maine
49. Northwestern’s game against Chicago State
50. Santa Claus
Okay, here me out, even if Santa were real, would the frequent home invasions be any less important than watching this game?
51. Marvin Lewis
Bengals fans nod
52. The other 71 college basketball non-conference games on 12/19
Well, to Northwestern fans, surely, this game is the most important. Also, the slate is very bad.
53. Lewis Hamilton
54. Daniel Day-Lewis
55. Shelter (forgot about that one)
56. The Iron Throne
Seriously though, it’s a fictional creation, this is a real-life basketball game.
57. ESPN internal politics
59. LaVar Ball
60. The New York Yankees
61. The Boxcar Children books
62. All of the Percy Jackson films
63. Inside NU’s Facebook comments
64. Pivoting to video
65. Vitamin C
Okay, I’m kidding about that one.
66. Execute Order 66, oh wait, I said no more Star Wars references, never mind
67. “Seven Nation Army” by The White Stripes
68. The Chicago White Sox
69. nope, not gonna do it
70. The French Connection, whatever that is
71. The search for a higher being.
72. European basketball
73. The emergence of mass economic inequality, flouting of political norms, not giving civil rights to Italian allies, and intractable senators unwilling to reform anything in the late Roman Republic. Wait, actually, that might matter a lot to you.
74. The NFL’s catch rules
75. Every spoonerism ever created. That being said...Leriweather Mewis.
Go watch this game, fellow Northwestern fans.