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Northwestern basketball 2017-18: The haiku review

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What else are we supposed to do this week?

NCAA Basketball: Northwestern at Iowa Jeffrey Becker-USA TODAY Sports

Northwestern basketball played some games. Let’s review...in haiku.

Game 1: Loyola MD

Top 25 spot?
Undeserved after beating
Loyola by three

Game 2: Saint Peter’s

Peacocks in Allstate?
Oh darn, we still look not great
Still got the win though

Game 3: Creighton

Alright, Creighton’s good
We played really well, I think
But that’s a tough loss

Game 4: La Salle

Can we beat bad teams
By more than single digits?
Mohegan Sunsets

Game 5: Texas Tech

That was really bad
I mean, maybe Big 12
better than Big Ten

Game 6: Sacred Heart

Alright we won big
Sacred Heart Pioneers, fear
Scottie Lindsey shots

Game 7: Georgia Tech

This non-con season
Is a complete disaster
Wide-open lay up!!!!!

Game 8: Illinois

That was too much work
To beat a crappy, orange,
Brad Underwood team

Game 9: Purdue

Well if we won that
Things would be okay, somewhat
That loss hurt a lot

Game 10: Chicago State

I feel bad about
this 96-31
win over the Cougs

Game 11: Valpo

Beating Valpo by
over thirty points at home
did wonders for stats

Game 12: Depaul

At least we survived
Max Strus’ game of his life
I’m still worried

Game 13: Lewis

Charlie Hall scored points
Well, one point, but it was still
a season highlight

Game 14: Oklahoma

Oh gosh, Trae Young just
Obliterated NU
single-handedly

Game 15: Brown

B-Mac is hurt now
had to come back against Brown
Music City Bowl!

Game 16: Nebraska

Struggling to make
sense of this awful season
NEBRASKETBALL BACK?!!?!

Game 17: Penn State

This is really bad
really really really bad
Tony Carr is truth

Game 18: Minnesota

Wow we won a game
Minnesota is garbage
Fire Pitino

Game 19: Indiana

Offense is a myth
Scoring buckets? Fantasy.
Assembly Hall? Tough.

Game 20: Ohio State

Chris Holtmann coached well
Northwestern played pretty well
Collins goes back to well

Game 21: Penn State

Allstate Arena
Is five syllables, that’s good!
And so was this win

Game 22: Minnesota

Gophers are still bad
Not like Northwestern is great
Fire Pitino

Game 23: Michigan

Seven-minute droughts
Are actually good to me!
Sub-50 points, yikes

Game 24: Wisconsin

This is an affront
to the sport of basketball
what is offense, folks?

Game 25: Michigan

I cannot believe
We beat a ranked team at home
Good season in play?

Game 26: Maryland

Nope, same old same old
This team is missing Tourney
Northwestern, no...no.

Game 27: Rutgers

That was so bad I’m
Glad it was on BTN
so no one could see

Game 28: Michigan State

Twenty-seven points
down to 15 already?
Oh look, now we lost

Game 29: Maryland

Another blown lead
I’m just numb at this dark point
Kevin Huerter...blah

Game 30: Wisconsin

B-Mac, Scott, Gavin
They did make the Tournament
Senior night is sad

Game 31: Iowa

No Vic Law means more
Anthony Gaines on the floor
Scottie hit nine threes

Game 32: Penn State BTT

MSG looks cool
even if it ruined all
Big Ten games this year