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Why Northwestern will/won’t beat UMass

If they don’t.....

NCAA Football: Massachusetts at Connecticut David Butler II-USA TODAY Sports

Northwestern enters its contest with UMass as a heavy favorite in its quest to win a second game on the season. The Minutemen also have a lone win to their name, picking up that victory against the vaunted Akron Zips. But will the ‘Cats will get that second win and avoid embarrassment?

Why Northwestern will beat UMass

NU -41

Despite what you may read on this site and despite what you may feel in your heart as a fan, the public is actually betting on the ‘Cats to cover as a 41-point favorite. So logically, Northwestern has to win this game. Northwestern cannot feasibly lose this game according to that point spread.

Okay, let me put it this way. In terms of pure good old fashioned Las Vegas point spreads, this would be the second biggest upset in the history of Division One college football. The only 41+ point underdog to upset its opponent was 45.5-point dog Howard when a Caylin Newton-led Bison team defeated the Runnin’ Rebels of UNLV. Remember them?

UMass has one of the worst defenses in FBS history

53.1 points per game allowed. Fifty-three point one. Every single time they step on the football field, the Minutemen get run over. They’ve allowed less than 40 once all year: to Akron, the worst FBS offense in the country (and worse than quite a few FCS ones as well). They gave up 56 to UConn. This team is bad.

Northwestern has the advantage, even with all of the injuries, at every single position on the field except for maybe kick returner

Yeah, this one kinda speaks for itself.

Why Northwestern won’t beat UMass

Because this is the final phase of Mick McCall’s long-term plan to destroy Northwestern from the inside (get it)

*Tinfoil hat on*

You thought that the ineptitude displayed by the Northwestern offense was the product of incompetent coaching? Oh boy were you wrong. McCall is truly one of the most brilliant minds in sports, and we’re witnessing a historic internal extermination of a football program. This is the final hurrah.

Trips to bowl games, Big Ten championship games and upset victories were all just part of a decade-spanning scheme to send Northwestern football back to the dark ages. Build up just enough loyalty with Fitz to unleash the biggest bomb of all. The most embarrassing loss in the history of Power Five football.

UMass plays well and Northwestern plays poorly

On a serious note, if the Minutemen play well and the ‘Cats have an off day, isn’t there a chance they pull off the upset? Crazier things have happened, and especially in the world of college sports, anything is possible. I mean, I just witnessed Northwestern men’s basketball fall to a program playing its second game in the division, only to rebound by beating a highly touted Providence team. Chaos is real.

Enjoy your weekends, folks.