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A haiku for every Northwestern men’s basketball game this year

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A celebration of the poetry that is Wildcat men’s hoops.

Minnesota v Northwestern Photo by Joe Robbins/Getty Images

For our first post-sports being cancelled piece, we thought we’d lighten things up. This idea should be pretty self-explanatory. Feel free to riff in the comments!


Merrimack (11/8/19, 71-61 L)

There was excitement,

But then in strolled the Warriors,

Shocking one and all.

0-1

Providence (11/13/19, 72-63 W)

The ‘Cats played okay,

The Friars couldn’t make shots,

First win of the year!

1-1

Radford (11/19/19, 67-56 L)

What’s a Highlander?

I doubt Radford even knows,

The ‘Cats lost, though. Yikes.

1-2

Norfolk State (11/22/19, 70-59 W)

Ryan Young looked good.

19 points and 12 rebounds?

Very impressive.

2-2

Bradley (11/25/19, 78-51 W)

Fort Myers Tip-Off!

Bradley was inferior,

As Northwestern rolled.

3-2

Pittsburgh (11/27/19, 72-59 L)

Wildcats and Panthers,

Low quality basketball,

And Capel prevailed.

3-3

Boston College (12/3/19, 82-64 Q)

ACC-Big Ten,

Forget Duke-Michigan State,

This game was better.

4-3

Purdue (12/8/19, 58-44 L)

44 points? Yuck.

Throw this one in the trash can,

Just like this season.

4-4 (0-1)

SIU-Edwardsville (12/15/19, 72-54 W)

Where is Edwardsville?

Southern Illinois? Who cares,

‘Cats won, that was cool.

5-4 (0-1)

Michigan State (12/18/19, 77-72 L)

Boo Buie broke out,

But that just wasn’t enough.

The Spartans held on.

5-5 (0-2)

DePaul (12/21/19, 83-78 L)

What’s this? A blown lead?

Shocker! Haha, just kidding.

Charlie Moore iced it.

5-6 (0-2)

Hartford (12/29/19, 67-66 L)

Another blown lead?

I sense a common theme here.

Hartford caused heartbreak.

5-7 (0-2)

Minnesota (1/5/20, 77-68 L)

No blown lead this time.

Oturu dominated,

A pitiful sight.

5-8 (0-3)

Indiana (1/8/20, 66-62 L)

A slim halftime lead,

But Indiana came back,

Hoosiers held The Hall.

5-9 (0-4)

Nebraska (1/11/20, 62-57 W)

What’s that I smell?

Collins cooked up something nice:

A Big Ten triumph!

6-9 (1-4)

Iowa (1/14/20, 75-62 L)

Luka Garza’s large,

He’s also good at hooping,

That’s my takeaway.

6-10 (1-5)

Illinois (1/18/20, 75-71 L)

UIUC, ew,

They may control the hardwood,

but the HAT remains.

6-11 (1-6)

Maryland (1/21/20, 77-66 L)

The Terps beat the ‘Cats,

Jalen Smith, that kid can play,

NU can’t hold leads.

6-12 (1-7)

Ohio State (1/26/20, 71-59 L)

The ‘Cats trailed by three,

Then they trailed by even more,

Buckeyes won by 12.

6-13 (1-8)

Michigan State (1/29/20, 79-50 L)

MSU Part Two,

This one wasn’t even close,

Please end the season.

6-14 (1-9)

Purdue (2/1/20, 61-58 L)

The ‘Cats had a lead,

Inevitable defeat.

Who names their kid Sasha?

6-15 (1-10)

Rutgers (2/9/20, 77-73 L)

A close game throughout,

Overtime was required,

Rutgers won, sad face.

6-16 (1-11)

Michigan (2/12/20, 79-54 L)

Not sure how to put this,

Wolverines by 25?

Yeah, this game was BAD.

6-17 (1-12)

Penn State (2/15/20, 77-61 L)

Not a bad showing,

Certainly not a good one,

The drought continues.

6-18 (1-13)

Maryland (2/18/20, 76-67 L)

Northwestern fought hard,

But dug a big hole early,

And couldn’t escape.

6-19 (1-14)

Minnesota (2/23/20, 83-57 L)

Oturu is good,

At this whole basketball thing,

Gophers by a ton.

6-20 (1-15)

Illinois (2/27/20, 74-66 L)

Welsh-Ryan was orange,

Their students bought NU merch,

What a funny prank.

6-21 (1-16)

Nebraska (3/1/20, 81-76 W)

Some poor basketball,

22 (!) free throws missed by

the Huskers. ‘CATS WIN!

7-21 (2-16)

Wisconsin (3/4/20, 63-48 L)

48 points! Ew!

Who knew Wisconsin was good?

Don’t they just make cheese?

7-22 (2-17)

Penn State (3/7/20, 80-69 W)

Senior Day sendoff,

A win that gave us some hope,

Future might be bright.

8-22 (3-17)

Minnesota (3/11/20, 74-57 L)

Coronavirus,

That word has five syllables,

A strange way to end.

8-23 (3-17)


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