It's been The Season From Hell, and we can all agree on that. The cake we were promised by the 2013 Northwestern Wildcats was definitively a lie, and even Golden Perfect Wonderful Amazing Coach Pat Fitzgerald is earning some well-deserved criticism for his team being 0-7, when by all rights they're talented enough to be at least 2-5.
Luckily, we get a whole offseason to talk about this. And even more luckily, this offseason is a month longer than we've grown to expect because the Wildcats managed not to earn a trip to a bowl game for the first time since 2007.
We've got one more game. For a few years, every game the Wildcats have played as been, in some way, meaningful: it's had some say in terms of bowl positioning, or the Big Ten championship race, or rankings. Even after going 0-4 to start Big Ten play, every game NU played had meaning in that the Wildcats needed to get to six wins.
Northwestern-Illinois is just a damn football game. There's nothing on the line besides pride. Pride, AND A DAMN HAT
WHY WE MUST BEAT ILLINOIS
BECAUSE DOOFUS MCWILLIAMSON OVER HERE
Photo via Bruce Thorson, USA Today Sports
Y'ALL WOULD BE OKAY WITH LOSING TO CHILD-COACH WHO IN 48 YEARS OF LIFE, HAS NEVER ONCE BEEN TAUGHT HOW TO SMILE LIKE A NORMAL HUMAN? THIS DUDE WITH MORE WORDS IN HIS NAME THAN BIG TEN WINS ACROSS TWO SEASONS? THIS JACOB SILJ VOICE IMMODULATION SYNDROME-HAVING DUDE?
THIS DUDE WHO ACTUALLY UNIRONICALLY CONSIDERS NORTHWESTERN-ILLINOIS A RIVALRY? THIS DUDE EVEN ILLINOIS FANS THINK IS A JOKE-HUMAN?
WELL, I AIN'T OKAY WITH LOSING TO HIM.
BECAUSE IT'S NOT 1983, DAMMIT
AND WE DON'T WANNA GO 0-8. ONE WIN IS LITERALLY INFINITY PERCENT MORE WINS THAN ZERO WINS.
IT IS SOON TO BE WINTER AND OUR HEADS ARE TO BE COLD. UNLESS WE COVER THEM WITH HAT.