Name of the Week: Cal edition

A FOOT. A BALL. A FOOTBALL.

We watched a football game last night. We're going to watch a much better football game tonight. And in two days, we're going to watch a Northwestern football game, dangit.

IT'S THAT TIME

And even though this is no longer our site on a day-to-day basis, we're going to keep talking about names. That's just what we do. And you'll pry it from our cold, giggling hands. (Actually, we've started talking about first names elsewhere, but, still.)

Quite frankly, Cal's name crop isn't quite as good as we'd hoped. And it's even worse, since last year's winner Puka Lopa is, BY NAME OF THE WEEK RULES, exempt. However, we march on, because football.

NAMES

Cormac Craigie, No. 38

Craigie! I just wanna gently tousle the back of his head.

CC is a freshman safety who's listed as a third-stringer on the depth chart

Addison Ooms, No. 57

Ooms goes the dynamite! Ooms! There it is! Ooms! There it is! All I wanna do is Ooms a Ooms-ooms in ya ooms-ooms.

In addition to being a stop on the red, blue, and brown lines, Addison is a true freshman offensive lineman.

Bug Rivera

I'm an extreme entomophobe -- seriously, if I see a bug I whinny and run out of my room while my girlfriend squashes it while rolling her eyes and thinking about breaking up with me -- so I do not support Bug Rivera. I don't think his spindly legs and thousands of eyes have a place on the football field. I hope he skitters under the fridge when the stadium turns the floodlights on and he never ever ever comes back.

Bug -- whose real name is "Vincent" -- is the nephew of Ron Rivera, who played at Cal. He's a running back freshly transferred from San Diego, so he'll be sitting out the year.

Bryce Treggs, No. 1

Last year I wrote that Bryce Treggs was the real name of the lawn gnome in the Travelocity ads and I stand by it.

B-Treggs is Cal's top receiver, A 5'11 speedster, you may remember him from his 13 catches for 145 yards last year against Northwestern. You'll probably hear his name a few times Saturday as Cal looks to pass over and over and over again.

Trey Cheek

Trey's birth name is "Trevellous." He has opted to go by "Trey," which is French for "very," which is funny because his last name is "chic" which is French for "stylish." If Trey Cheek ever introduces himself to a French person, they will immediately think he is a conceited American jerk and never talk to him again.

Trey is a third-string cornerback, which is modestly cool, so stop overselling yourself.

May future weeks bring better names, but may we celebrate these names as well.